Notes |
- GIBISMS
Spizzerinktum-The quality whose absence from a radish leads to disappointment, whose absence from an adult leads to ennui, and whose excessive presence in a child leads to despair.
Johnnying-A form of human movement, usually purposeful without being urgent
In like a tall dog-If you have to ask, you are not to be told.
Pucker brush-The back of beyond, where things get lost-golf balls, livestock, city dwellers, farm implements, virtue. Much goes wrong there, and some never return, deservedly so.
Judas Priest (pronounced "Jyuudus Puhreeest!")-An exclamatory expression of unhappy surprise, often provoked by incidents involving certain of his offspring and the family car.
A man never went broke taking a profit-Originally a Grandpa Johnism; a basic tenet of the Jeffersonian mindset Gib shared with his father. See also Gecko, Gordon for the confounding proverb: "Greed is good."
Keester-That part of the anatomy onto which people inevitably fall when they spend too much time in the company of people like Gordon Gecko and get too full of themselves.
Old Boy-A generic masculine term one uses to refer to any male character in one's story whose name one has forgotten but which one does not wish to lose the thread of one's narrative trying to recall.
Rub some dirt on it-The automatic response to any report of a physical ailment, open wound, or emotional distress from one's children.
Come on, let's go, get it out there and let 'em start beating on it!-An all-purpose statement of encouragement directed to children attempting to sleep past seven a.m., drivers reluctant to enter an intersection while Gib was stuck behind them, inexplicable delays in the starting time of any event Gib had chosen to attend, or a son whose fear of failure almost kept him from trying out for the high school baseball team.
Move it or milk it!-If for any reason the preceding piece of encouragement failed to elicit the desired response, Gib would offer up this gem.
Don't see no hooks in your butt-Which is to say: You (inevitably one of us) appear to be capable of transporting yourself to the destination indicated by Gib's thumb without being carried there by a porter and once there performing whatever obnoxious chore Gib has assigned you.
The Mulkeys [or fill in a collective noun of your own choosing] and the quack grass damn near took over the valley-A cautionary observation calling attention to the fact that the more noxious plants and people tend to be, the more prolific and difficult to uproot they tend to be.
Y'made me happy twice: once by comin' and once by goin'-Gib's version of farewell. Depending on where the stress fell in the sentence, on "comin'" or on "goin,'" it might be fond . . . or not.
Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out-A farewell, never fond, directed toward those Gib adjudged to be too dimwitted to catch the darker version of the preceding farewell.
T'ain't funny McGee-Gib's version of the vaudevillian hook once used to remove dying performers from the stage. In matters of repartee, one brought one's A-game to Gib's table, or one stayed home.
Y'uh Dummy-Oddly enough, an often affectionate response to some child's naïve mistake. NB: If directed toward an adult, the expletive "G**damned" would be inserted thereby infusing the phrase with less affectionate import.
Take off your shoes and set a spell-An unambiguous welcome reserved for those whose company Gib treasured.
Hey ol buddy-The unreservedly affectionate greeting Gib offered to grandchildren or youngsters he encountered along the way. Early in life, the greeting would be followed up by a request for a hug. Later in life, after a number of horrified mothers had whisked their children away from Gib and started looking for a cop, he learned to request high fives.
Catlickers and Potlickers An irreverent reference to those neighbors who were members, respectively, of the Catholic or the Protestant church, just two of the countless faiths Gib himself failed to embrace. (Or, as at least one authority insists, "The Catlickers and the Puplickers"to distinguish public school students from Catholic school students. The latter variant has in its favor a strong sense of parallel construction but it must be said that parallelism was never Pop's strong suit.)
Good bread, good meat, Good God let's eat-Gib's version of grace.
Like the Dutchman's wife, not much for looks, but hell for stout-An approbatory comment on any product or service that was fundamentally sound and without frills. Originally applied to the home building skills of the Hughes boys when they constructed the home place in 1926.
Kwitchyerbellyachin'!-Another of Gib's numerous motivational bon mots, designed to help his children see that they were once again mistaking an opportunity life sent their way for a problem.
MIK-An acronym for "More in kitchen," meaning the guest should feel free to ask for seconds of whatever dish Gib had designated MIK.
FHB-An acronym for "Family Hold Back," meaning the only way there would be enough food for the guests to have seconds required the members of the Ramage family to stop eating and proclaim themselves full.
KIA-Yet another acronym, this one standing for "Know it all." Surprisingly, KIA was viewed by Gib as an honorific title. When out for a Sunday drive or on an extended trip, Gib always took it upon himself to establish his KIA cred by pointing out important facts concerning the history, flora, fauna and geology of the passing countryside. Some of these facts were actually true. (In the case of Gib's 1968 claim to a car full of fellow Jacuzzi employees that the huge pipe rising out of the water near Oakland was used to transport gravy from Sausalito to Bay Area restaurants proved upon further investigation not to be factually sound.)
Never let the facts stand in the way of a good story-(See above.) Long rumored to be the family's ancient motto.
"Any better and you'd have to pay to look at me."-Gib's invariable response to the question "How ya doing?" even when he was flat on his back in a hospital bed with an IV in each arm and another in his chest.
Madame Tut/Dooner/Wenelly/Goober/Mare Bear-Gib's children. Respectively: Carol/John/Wendy/Steve/Marybet
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs-Speaks for itself.
Rise! Rose! Risen! Squeeze! Squoze! Squizzen!-The benediction Gib recited to his grandchildren when greeting them after a long absence. The words were accompanied by a slow lifting of the child above his head, a gradual turning of the child in a circle, and a gentle squeezing of the child's tummy guaranteed to elicit squeals of delight.
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